England, orginator of ridiculous taxes!

Having just filed my taxes, I saw this article on DealNews.com (a favorite website because it’s written with wit) about weird taxes in history:

“Awful Historical Taxes That Make Yours Seem Not So Bad” by Jeff Somogyi, Media Editor at DealNews.com

This article proves why our early countrymen fought against the British. Just look at how many bizarre taxes they invented: A tax on soap and wallpaper? You’ve got to be kidding me – ATTACK!

-The Wandering Humorist

The Secret to writing on the Subway in New York!

The best way I’ve found to write on the Subway, is with a reporter’s notebook. You’d laugh to see how cumbersome writing in normal notebooks is or even a Moleskine (which I normally love). And that’s because you have to write for extended periods of time while standing up. Believe me, I’ve done it! I like Ampad Earthwise (recycled) Reporter Notebooks best. I bought a three pack at Staples last year for a decent price, so I’d look there before buying them on Staples.com or Amazon.

I’m currently writing in Portage News Reporter Notebooks,which have thick paper. While I like Ampad’s notebook better, I bought a 12 pack, so I guess I’ll be using them for awhile! But Portage notebooks feel a lot sturdier and may be more durable against Father Time.

While we’re on the subject, I write in Parker Blue Quink (Gel Ink), which I believe is permanent. A great writer’s tool.

Writing on the subway isn’t easy, but it’s a great chunk of time to muse.

– The Wandering Humorist

Be like the driver of this Car!

A car parked up on the curb, yo!
A car is parked up on the curb.

I want to be more like the driver of this car. It’s my personal mission to take life less seriously, and this driver is WAY AHEAD of me. Oh the wonder! To be able to park like this and not care. Or better yet, not even notice. I mean, this driver gave up being a perfectionist LONG ago!

As for me, I constantly battle my perfectionism. Heck, I fight with it just to post to this blog! Because if you try to get everything right, it’s hard to get anything done. Including, apparently, getting your car parked in NYC.

I wonder if he/she got out and just strolled away, carefree. Or if he/she looked, saw they were parked up on the curb, and just shrugged? I like that image best, because they just didn’t give a damn. And I’d like to be more that way, at least when I create art. I’d jettison the inner critic, the voice that likes to say, “Well obviously that isn’t good enough!” and instead hear a voice that says, “I’m gonna do this – critics be damned!”.

And so, the moral I draw from this bad parking job is this: try to take things less seriously, like the driver of this car. Oh, and usually when you do something badly, it’s going to be funny.

– The Wandering Humorist

There was Daryl Dixon staring at me…on the R Train

I walked onto the R train last night and Daryl Dixon was sitting there staring me in the face. I don’t often see posters just sitting on the subway,

A portrait of Walking Dead's Daryl Dixon on the R Train.
Norman Reedus aka Daryl Dixon riding the R with a friend.

so I had to strike up a conversation with his friend. Apparently, you can buy these framed posters of popular TV series at Spencer’s in the city. I had to laugh. The subway is full of surprises, but when they’re fun, they’re really fun; because the rest of the time they can be really weird. More subway tales later…

Crisis: It’s Mustache Time!

Vandalized Television Ad!
Vandalized Television Ad!

Nothing brings a smile to my face faster than seeing a vandalized corporate poster! And what a great example at the Lorimer G stop (Williamsburg). “Look”, said a passerby to her friends, “they’ve got hipster mustaches!”

Yes, wonderful mustachios for the entire cast of Crisis! As for the plot of the show, I have no idea; perhaps coiffing one’s facial hair? That said, the one mustache at which I cringe, is the one worn by Gillian Anderson. She can do no wrong in my book, after her superb work in The X-Files.

Long live Gillian Anderson… and well maintained mustachios!
– The Wandering Humorist

Starstruck: Parker Posey

Last week, I was at The Library Bar in the Public Theater having drinks with friends from London. I felt special. Suddenly, I became aware I was looking across at an attractive woman sitting at the next table. I was looking at…at…at Parker Posey! Yes, the woman with the mane of black hair, and dark eyes who was quietly talking with a girlfriend was freaking PARKER POSEY. Was I in a dream? Was I HIGH? (Note: I’m pretty much “straight-edge” without the mishegoss)

I suddenly realized, I’ve been a fan of hers for a long time; how could I not stare? Gorgeous, super funny AND eccentric? How rare a combo is THAT?? In a million years, I never thought I would see her in real life.

However, instead of taking my usual tact with famous people and speaking with her, I found I wasn’t moving. I was confused. I was transfixed. Really, I was just trying to demonstrate I wasn’t looking at her. And contrary to what I expected, she didn’t get up to leave. She was just hanging with her friend at the next table, like a regular person.

And that’s when I realized I was starstruck. I was caught dead in my tracks. I was stunned. I was in my head, man. Of all the famous people I dig and admire, I never thought I’d actually run into HER!

I had been smacked upside the head by Ms. Posey. Thank you Parker Posey, you have obviated all my worldy woes. I can now die in supreme peace!

Note to self: See Party Girl